You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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