i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
