marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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