Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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