you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
