just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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