chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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