so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
