i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Randomize
