Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
