some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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