you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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