There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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