"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.