I accidentally had phone sex last night
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going