ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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