She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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