i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
In America we eat man semen.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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