she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
