I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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