bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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