And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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