Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
