My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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