i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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