I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
