I got chris browned last night
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
