ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
