But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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