he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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