I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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