Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
