it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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