I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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