Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
