Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
