How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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