We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize