At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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