dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
