the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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