Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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