u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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