I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
