You don't have asthma, your pregnant
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
