Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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