they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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