Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
