were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Still dying that you shit outside
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
