Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
