Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
