Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
