did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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