The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I've blown a few things in my day
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
