addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
