whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
