Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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