My sheets look like a crime scene.
I skipped work to stalk him.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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