genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
