we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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