if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
